Harry Potter and the Ridiculously Tight Pants
by Praevarus
Summary: Draco Malfoy is wearing a pair of ridiculously tight pants. Harry is positive he has stuffed his underwear, and intends to prove it. Sort of HPDM slash-ish. Rating is probably too high. Just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: **Not my characters.

Includes flamboyant!draco and may be slightly cracky.

**Harry Potter and the Ridiculously Tight Pants**

Harry Potter was getting through breakfast the way he usually did: Chewing on his food half asleep, and not noticing much of what was happening around him. His friends knew that he usually didn't start to wake up until around noon, and so they left him alone, unless something incredibly urgent needed his attention. As you might guess, it would take something truly shocking to get Harry to look up from his plate that Friday morning.

However, when he was just about to stuff another cracker into his mouth, he noticed something curious out of the corner of his eye. Someone (and it was clearly a guy) was wearing a pair of ridiculously tight pants. They appeared to made out of leather, and they clung to the person's body like a second skin. Harry flushed, wondering why this person had bothered to wear pants in the first place, since he was so clearly flaunting his bits. Almost offended, Harry looked up and almost fell off his seat in realization that the person walking by the Gryffindor table was Draco Malfoy.

He stared wide eyed as Malfoy passed, causing Harry's view of his bits to be replaced by a rather uncensored display of his butt. "Ron," Harry hissed, nudging the redhead next to him. "Did you see Malfoy?"

"Wha?" Ron looked around. "What about him, mate?" He asked with his mouth full.

"Look at the pants he's wearing! They're...obscene."

Ron looked at him as though he'd gone mental. "You sound like Hermione." He went back to stuffing his face.

"I did see them, and I also thought they were on the...revealing side," Hermione said, looking slightly flustered. Harry nodded contently, glad someone agreed with him.

But as they were making their way to the first class of the day, Potions with the Slytherins, they somehow ended up walking behind a group of Slytherins, and when Harry found himself staring at Malfoy's butt yet again, he seemed to be the only one. "Yes Harry," Hermione said after he once again pointed it out to her, "they're tight pants. He's just trying to provoke or something. Just ignore him." She went back to her reading (reading at the same time as walking was nothing for her - she had mastered the art of reading while doing a whole range of different activities).

Harry frowned and tried to keep himself from looking at the swaying arse in front him. Hermione was right: He was acting ridiculous. It was nothing more than a pair of tight pants. He tried to focus on Daphne Greengrass' butt instead, because after all, that's what normal guys would look at, but his eyes kept drifting back to Malfoy. Well, it wasn't his fault. It was criminal to wear pants that tight.

Snape didn't appear to have arrived at the classroom yet, so they were all forced to stand around in the dungeons, waiting for the Potions Master to arrive. Harry watched nervously as Malfoy leaned against the wall casually. He swallowed, realizing that the front was much, much worse than the back. Because Malfoy appeared to be rather...well endowed.

Alright, so that was an understatement, or otherwise Harry wouldn't be staring at his crotch, wondering whether Malfoy had stuffed his pants with something...

That was it! He had! He'd stuffed a bunch of socks or something else into his underwear! Because there was absolutely no way that anyone could actually have bits this large. Especially not an attract...scrawny brat like Malfoy.

Harry had never been so relieved to see Professor Snape. During potions he had some time to cool down, while Snape lectured them to sleep for about half an hour. Then he was paired up with Ron to make a potion. As always, they failed quite miserably without Hermione being able to help them. She had recently decided to stop doing all the work for them in classes like these, because in her words, they'd never learn otherwise.

"We need more mandrake root," Ron mumbled while stirring the potion clockwise.

"Well, you go get it," Harry said quickly, knowing that they had to ask Snape for permission to enter the supply room. And while he didn't trust any Gryffindors, he had by far the worst relationship with Harry.

"You get it. Can't you see I'm stirring?" Ron pretended to look busy. When Harry didn't look like he was about to give in, he sighed. "Okay, let's flip a coin on it. You have a sickle or something with you?"

Harry searched the pockets of his trousers and was only able to retrieve a rather rusty looking knut. "That'll do," he said. "Heads or tails?"

"Heads."

Harry flipped the coin and when it landed on the back of his hand, he groaned. "Heads."

Ron laughed, happily stirring the potion way too many times, making it look rather pink instead of the dark purple that it was currently supposed to be. Harry wondered why he should bother to get the extra ingredients at all, but walked up to Snape anyway, supposing the man would give him an even harder time if he didn't finish the potion in the first place. "Professor, could I please get some mandrake root from the supply room?" He asked in the most polite fashion he could manage.

Snape eyed Harry from head to toe several times. "That should be quite alright, Potter. But I will have you know that I always count my ingredients quite thoroughly, and if anything should happen to go missing, I will know it was you."

"Yes Professor," Harry said. He'd learned by now to tune out Snape's words.

He was so focused on getting his mandrake root without breaking anything in the supply room or doing anything else to make Snape suspicious, that it wasn't until the door fell shut behind him that he noticed the other person. He startled. "Hey Potter."

Just his luck. Malfoy was standing in front of him on a stool that allowed him to reach the items on the highest shelf, and when he turned around, his crotch was exactly at Harry's eye level.

He must have been staring for a much longer time than he realized, because Malfoy started to chuckle. "Like what you see, Potter?"

Harry licked his lips. It was a nervous habit, but he cursed himself because it probably wasn't exactly the right thing to do to convince Malfoy he didn't like what he saw. "I...You..." He stammered. Finally he couldn't hold it in anymore. "Those pants are criminal! You should not be allowed to wear those at school!" He burst out. "And you honestly expect everyone to believe that is...all real?"

Malfoy raised his eyebrows. "What are you insinuating?" He jumped off the stool and leaned against one of the shelves.

"I'm insin..." Harry cursed inwardly. Why did Malfoy have to use such intelligent words? To show off, probably. Well, it wasn't impressing him. "I'm saying that you've stuffed your underwear to make your bits appear larger." He crossed his arms and smiled triumphantly. "That's what I'm saying."

Malfoy smirked. "Potter...Do you honestly think there is room to wear underwear underneath these pants?"

Harry blinked and stared at the Slytherin. No, NO! He told himself when his gaze started to drop again, from Malfoy's face down to his neck, his chest...And then he was staring at Malfoy's crotch once again. There was no point in denying it anymore. "You don't believe me, Potter?" Malfoy asked, his voice suddenly sounding husky. "You want to see it?"

"I..." He did want to see. Not because he was attracted to the guy, obviously. That was a ridiculous idea. But because he wanted to prove that Malfoy had indeed stuffed his pants. Malfoy obviously wasn't expecting him to say yes, and wasn't prepared to actually drop his pants. He'd be humiliated. "As a matter of fact I do."

As it turned out, Harry was the one who was unprepared for what was about to happen, when Malfoy actually did start to unzip his pants. Then he wiggled out of them (which seemed to be quite difficult, considering how tight they were) and soon enough they had been pulled down far enough for Harry to see that there were no socks involved. It was indeed all Malfoy. And he couldn't help but say exactly what he thought.

"Wow."

Malfoy grinned in response. Not that Harry could see this. His eyes were completely fixated on Draco's rather large member. "Would you like to touch it, Potter?"

Harry would curse himself for it later, but at that moment, he had no idea what he was doing. His hand was moving without permission from his brain, reaching out.

Just when he was about to touch Malfoy's cock, the Slytherin started to pull up his pants, covering himself up. Harry snapped out of it, realizing that Malfoy was laughing at him. "Malfoy!" A furious blush appeared on his cheeks. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to hit Malfoy or disappear into a hole in the ground. Probably the latter one, now that he thought about it.

"What? Don't get all worked up Potter," Malfoy said, still not completely done laughing. "I can't believe you Gryffindors are so oblivious. We've known you're gay for ages Potter, and we thought it was time to drag you out of that comfortable closet of yours."

"You tricked me," Harry huffed, still not completely able to get over the idea.

"Yes," Malfoy replied. He leaned in, breathing into Harry's ear. "But if we'd been in a more private setting, I might have let you touch it anyway."

That was when the door flew open, and Snape appeared in the doorway. Harry immediately realized what they must look like, standing so awfully close to each other, Malfoy's mouth next to his face. He quickly stepped moved away from Malfoy, and in the process of doing so, he managed to knock over several glass jars of ingredients.

"Potter!" Snape bellowed. "And Malfoy, I'm extremely disappointed in you. Detention tomorrow, both of you!"

Snape must have decided he didn't want to be any part of what had been going on there, because he stormed off immediately after he'd finished yelling. Harry just stood there, frozen to the ground, unable to believe what had just happened.

Malfoy seemed to recover more quickly. Before he walked away, he winked at Harry. "See you in detention."


End file.
